


Misfire

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: McHanzo [18]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Apologies, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Forgiveness, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Missions Gone Wrong, Near Death, Serious Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-17 05:36:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16510343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: Red had always suited McCree. But not like this. Never like this... on the ground in the middle of enemy territory, with an arrow in his chest.





	Misfire

   McCree took advantage of a brief lull in the fighting to catch his breath, hands steady despite the pain lancing through his arm as he reloaded his gun and checked it for damage, relieved to see that whilst it had gained a fresh dent it was still in working order. He would need to fix it when they got home though, maybe even let Torbjörn’s look at it. If they got time he amended, tilting his head as he heard an explosion a little too close for comfort, but a high-pitched cackle told him that Junkrat was responsible and he relaxed, shaking his head as he heard the Aussie moving on, no doubt to see what else he could blow up.

   It was days like this when they seemed to be scrambling on all fronts to cover themselves that McCree found himself missing the old days. The days when they’d had the resources they needed for each mission, intel that didn’t have so many gaping holes waiting to catch them out, when they’d had the numbers to fall back on in a situation like this where they found themselves outnumbered and outmanoeuvred. Still, for an organisation that wasn’t even allowed to exist and consisted of ghosts and strays, his eyes darting across to where Ana had ducked down to patch up a dazed looking Satya, they were holding their own. Although it didn’t stop his gaze from drifting upwards, searching for the familiar figure that he’d seen scrambling up the wall a few moments ago, easily finding the archer even though he was tucked in against the wall on a narrow ledge, firing arrow after arrow down at the Talon agents surrounding them.

“Aren’t you up there yet Sweetheart?” McCree asked as he activated their private communicator, his voice lightly teasing as he watched some of the agents shouting out orders, others going after Hanzo. Fools, he had learnt the hard way, through countless hours of training and lost bets that once Hanzo had the drop on you, there was little you could do to turn the tide against him.

 _“Do you want to climb up here?”_ Hanzo retorted as he let lose another arrow, downing one of the agents who had made the mistake of trying to follow him skywards, but there was a warmth in his voice that belied his irritation and something that was reserved solely for McCree.

“I’ll pass,” McCree muttered, shuddering as he eyed the tower that Hanzo was heading for. He had never been a huge fan of heights, although he could deal with them if necessary, but that tower looked as though it was only a good wind away from toppling over, and with Junkrat and Talon blowing things up left, right and centre he had a feeling that it wasn’t going to last long. Tearing his gaze away from it, and quashing the pang of concern at the thought of Hanzo risking it, he let his gaze dart back to his partner who had resumed his climb, and he couldn’t help but whistle at the sight. “Besides, I think the view is better from down here.”

   There was a moment of stunned silence, and then Hanzo snorted, something that McCree knew he would deny until his last breath, before muttering under his breath.

_“Degenerate.”_

“You love me for it.” Silence greeted his statement, and he could easily imagine the blush that would be staining his partner’s cheeks. Whilst Hanzo had opened up a lot and learnt to show his emotions far more easily than he had back then, McCree’s easy declarations of love still flustered him, and he grinned at the choked noise that followed.

 _“Foolishness. You should get back to work,”_ Hanzo ordered, and McCree hummed in agreement as he heard people heading in his direction, fingers tightening on his weapon as he prepared to end the call, only to pause as Hanzo coughed awkwardly. “ _But…you are correct_.” Before the words had even registered, let alone before he could even begin to formulate a reply, Hanzo had ended the call, and McCree found himself grinning as he watched Hanzo scrambling up and out of sight, heading for his target. It was the closest that Hanzo had come to saying, ‘I love you’ out in the field, and he wished that he had time to treasure it, instead, he whirled as he heard rubble shift, immediately emptying all six shots, grin turning to smug satisfaction as six bodies hit the ground.

   He spared a last glance at the rooftops, but he couldn’t spot Hanzo now, and with a sigh, he reloaded his weapon and headed back to join the fray. They would have to talk about that moment later…

**

   It was close. Too close. The fight on the ground turning against them because they simply didn’t have the numbers to hold out. Junkrat had been brought back, unconscious with blood still trickling from the nasty gash on his head and his left hand lying at a funny angle, Roadhog settling him a sheltered spot and letting Ana in to help him before standing guard. With Ana occupied and their demolitions expert out, there was little McCree, and Satya could do but set up a perimeter and try and repel the agents as they came, and McCree could feel doubt beginning to curl in the pit of his stomach.

This is bad… 

   His gun was empty again, and he ducked behind a crackling energy shield as he hastily reloaded, risking a glance upwards, searching for Hanzo. The continued radio silence was getting to him, and the thought that something could have happened to Hanzo left a foul taste in his mouth, especially when there was nothing he could do about it at the moment. The antenna on top of the tower was still flashing red, the light visible even through the smoke arising from the numerous fires burning throughout the compound, which meant that Talon was still transmitting the imitation of the God Program that they’d managed to concoct.

“Come on Hanzo…” He muttered under his breath, before twisting and taking down the agent who had been closing in on Satya, nodding at her strained ‘thank you’’ before moving on, shifting to cover the others as he finally heard Junkrat’s voice rising in protest. He didn’t get chance to check on the other man though, because Roadhog’s attention had shifted to something behind him, lifting his hook to point as he grunted.

“The Tower.” McCree turned on his heel just in time to see the Tower crumbling as blue light writhed around it, and whilst he was too far away to see. He could clearly envision the Dragons twining up its length, and he grinned.

“Hanzo…” _You did it…_

“About time,” Ana had moved to his side, but despite her words, he knew that she was pleased. She patted him on the shoulder before casually sleep darting a Talon agent who had made the mistake of moving into her line of sight, before turning back to Satya. “Let’s get out of here.” Satya nodded wearily, exhaustion in every movement as she fiddled for a moment before setting the teleporter pad on the ground. It wasn’t an ideal location, but they didn’t have time to find a secluded area and much of the shelter had been destroyed by Junkrat’s earlier efforts anyway. Seeing the device coming to life, McCree moved, feeling the familiar burning sensation in his eye as he scanned the area, grimacing at the number of skulls that lit up his vision - there were too many.

“Roadhog…” He muttered. There was no reply, but there was the familiar flare of heat and then the deafening roar of Roadhog’s gun as he lay down punishing cover fire. “Ana! Go!” McCree ordered, voice tense, Deadeye begging to be released. He waited until he heard her acknowledgement, barely aware of her ushering Junkrat and Satya as he fired, refusing to think about just how many lives he had taken in that single moment. As always when he used that ability his vision blurred for a moment afterwards, but he didn’t need to worry about stragglers, a large hand grasping his serape and tossing him through the teleporter.

   He stumbled out on the other side, blinking hard to clear his vision and waving Ana off when she moved to support him, turning to glance at the teleporter just as Roadhog stepped through offering him brief thumbs up before turning and crushing the teleporter pad.

“I could just have deactivated it,” Satya snapped, but she seemed too tired to go into a lecture like she normally would, probably a good thing because Roadhog was unapologetic as he accepted Junkrat’s jubilant high-five. McCree shook his head at their antics, before turning away and reaching for his communicator, relieved when the call connected at once.

“Hanzo, are you okay?”

 _“Of course,”_ Hanzo replied haughtily, and McCree grinned, the tone telling him better than words could that Hanzo was okay. _“Is everyone there?”_

“All present and accounted for,” McCree reported, sinking against the wall with relief. There had been more than one moment when he had thought that he wasn’t going to be able to say that, and he couldn’t help but make a quip, feeling slightly giddy at the realisation that they had succeeded. “Limbs included.”

 _“Good,”_ Hanzo muttered sounding just as relieved. However, it didn’t mask the exhausted note in his voice and McCree winced in sympathy as he heard the distinctive sound of Hanzo clambering over the rooftops as he headed in their direction.

“Come back Sweetheart,” he murmured, not caring that the others were close enough to hear the affectionate nickname. “It’s time for us to go home.”

_“On my way.”_

   McCree sighed as he slipped the communicator away before lifting his head to look at the others, deliberately ignoring the amused look on Ana’s face. “He’s on his way.”

“I will get the plane ready,” Satya murmured, heading between the buildings to the small patch of grass they had used as their landing spot and after a moment, and more than one nudge from Roadhog, Junkrat followed with his partner on his heels.

“Is he okay?” Ana asked as she approached him, no doubt noticing the way he kept glancing up at the rooftops in the hopes of seeing Hanzo hurrying towards him.

“Tired, I think,” McCree replied, before shrugging. “But then we all are.” That was an understatement and a half, it seemed like they had been faced with nothing but back to back missions recently, and whilst not all of them were as taxing as this one, it was still a lot. He spent most days daydreaming of a day off, preferably with Hanzo, and preferably with both curled up in their bed and no reason to leave it. Ana grimaced and nodded, the long months of fighting showing in her face, but she managed a wan smile as she patted him on the shoulder.

“I’m sure Winston and Jack will give us a couple of days off after this.”

“We can hope.” Gods did he hope for that, even one day would be a blessing right now. Still, they had to finish this mission first, and that meant getting out of here. He glanced at the rooftops again before glancing down at her, taking in the slumped shoulders and the faint tremble in her hands that spoke of her exhaustion and he nodded in the direction that the others had gone. “Go ahead, I’m going to wait for him.”

“Are you sure?” Ana asked, hesitating for a moment before sighing at his quick nod and giving a nod of her own, along with a warning. “Don’t let your guard down.” Normally he would have made a quip or pointed out that he was still here wasn’t he, but he was too tired, and so he settled for a weary grin and a warning of his own.

“You too.”

    Ana disappeared, leaving McCree to his own thoughts and his worried glances at the rooftop. A holiday would be heaven, maybe he could even convince Hanzo into taking a proper vacation, if they could find somewhere where no one knew about the bounty on his head or that Talon had a vested interest in getting their hands on the Shimada heir. Still, there had to be somewhere they could go, maybe he could even ask Jack about what he had done for holidays when he was Strike Commander, and everyone wanted to know where he was. Maybe not, he amended with a wince, knowing that time was still a sore topic, and he would probably find himself on another mission instead.

   A sudden movement had him lifting his gun, only to pause when he realised that it was Hanzo, relief flooding him when he saw that although the archer was moving slightly slower than normal, he didn’t seem to be favouring anything like he would when injured. The relief vanished a moment later when he realised that Hanzo was descending too fast and that he had an arrow notched and aimed in his direction and despite the trust he had in the other man, he felt a momentary spark of fear - which became understanding as he detected movement behind him.

   He knew that he should have stood still. Knew that Hanzo would take care of it, his aim unerring even in motion. Later he would blame it on exhaustion, and the lingering adrenaline from how close the mission had come to failure – but right then, all he could focus on was moving away from the danger, throwing himself to the side a split second before Hanzo fired.

   The Talon agent dropped, felled unerringly by Hanzo’s arrow - it was the others that proved to be a problem. The scatter shot had been perfectly aimed, accounting for McCree’s position and designed to miss him and clear the area of any other hidden enemies, having trusted that McCree would hold his place – only he hadn’t. McCree had a split second to realise what was happening, Hanzo’s horrified shout ringing in his ears a split second before his entire world narrowed down to the sickening fire in his chest. He had a hazy impression of the feathered shaft protruding from his chest before he was falling, colliding with the ground and gasping, a wet, breathy imitation of a scream as it jostled the arrow in his chest.

“McCree! JESSE!” Hanzo was there, expression frantic as he crouched beside him, hands ghosting helplessly over the injury. It occurred to McCree briefly that he had never seen that expression on his partner’s face before, and that he didn’t want to see it there again, before he was gasping and writhing as the pain washed over him in waves. He wanted it out, needed it out, and wildly he reached for it, only to let out an anguished noise when Hanzo’s hands were there stopping him. There were more words, telling him to stop, that it needed to stay where it was for now and that he was going to be okay and then blinding pain, his vision fading completely for a moment. When it came back, blurry around the edges and threatening to fade at any moment he realised that Hanzo was leaning over him, hands clamped on the wound to stop the bleeding, and blinking he became vaguely aware that Hanzo was still talking to him, a frantic stream of words that couldn’t breach the haze that had settled over him.  He blinked again, trying to focus, only to find his vision was worse than ever, and he grimaced, closing his eyes.

  He forced them open again a moment later, feeling fingers tapping against his cheek and he blinked, hoping that the blurry shape above him was Hanzo.

“…help…coming…” Hanzo was still talking, and McCree wished that he could respond as the panicked tone briefly reached him. “Hold…. please…” _Hanzo…_ He wanted to reassure his partner, tell him this wasn’t his fault, and that he was going to be okay. And more than anything he wanted to reach out and at least touch him, but his body wasn’t listening to his commands, his vision blurring and fading and the last thing he saw before the world disappeared completely was Hanzo’s eyes. Their usual calm replaced by terror, and were those tears? He wanted to ask…wanted to stop them…wanted …

****

_“…I don’t know, it’s a miracle he’s still alive. Waking up, might…”_

   There were voices, words that sounded like they were coming from miles away and even as he rolled them over and over in his mind he couldn’t make sense of them. He tried, sensing that he was missing something important. That there was a reason, he needed to wake up and make sense of the words. Instead, he found himself drifting away again, the voices fading into the background, but even as he floated, he was aware of another voice. An echo - someone he needed to reply, but then that was gone as well, and he fell away.

   It was the same the next few times he surfaced, different voices, different words. None of it making any sense in his current state, but he had a growing feeling that there was something missing, even the echo from that first time seemed to have disappeared leaving a hollow in its wake. What am I missing? Every time that thought penetrated the haze he would try to surface, but he had no idea which way was up and eventually he would tire, sinking under once more.

**

   When he finally found himself surfacing, a glimmer in the darkness guiding him upwards, he was overcome with relief. It didn’t make the task of extracting himself from the murk any easier though, and more than once he slipped back, exhaustion thwarting his efforts. However, as he got closer to the surface, he became aware of a hand holding his and he frowned as the sensation registered - it was cool to the touch, metallic, and it wasn’t the hand that was supposed to be there, and his fingers twitched. Now that he was focusing, he realised that whoever was there was speaking to him. Quiet words of encouragement, a familiar voice that he couldn’t quite put a name too, but he knew that it wasn’t the voice he wanted to hear.

“…Mmm…” It wasn’t what he had planned on saying, more noise than words, but the voice fell silent as the hand holding his tightened. _No. I want…I want…_ He wasn’t sure what or who he wanted, his thoughts not quite lining up yet, but he knew that it wasn’t the person who was with him right now. Still, the grip on his hand gave him something to focus on, the first concrete sensation he’d had in what felt like weeks, and so he squeezed back as he began the surprisingly difficult task of coaxing his eyes open, something that he was sure was usually a lot easier.

   There was no relief when he finally succeeded because he found himself having to slam them shut again straight away. It was bright. Too bright. A whimper slipped out, and suddenly the hand around his disappeared, and there were hurried words. Apologies. he realised, the words making more sense this time and the sound of something moving, and he could see the world behind his lids growing darker as the light was obscured. Still, he didn’t dare try again until his companion returned, fingers brushing his cheek for a moment before moving down to grip his hand once more.

“Jesse, can you open your eyes?” He could. The question was whether he wanted to, but there was something in the voice that begged him to obey, and slowly he cracked one eye open, and then the other. It still stung, and the world was blurry around the edges, but it was nothing like the pain from a moment ago and sighed with relief before slowly his gaze shifted to the figure hovering over him, having to blink a dozen times before he managed to clear his vision enough to make out who it was.

“G…ji?” He winced, the word feeling as though it had clawed its way out of his throat and he didn’t fight when a moment later he found himself being eased into a semi-upright position, a chip of ice being slipped into his mouth and he savoured the coolness as it melted against his tongue. “What happened?” He tried again once he had swallowed the last of the ice, only to trail off as he shifted slightly, the movement sparking pain in his chest and before Genji could answer he was looking down, eyes widening as he took in the bandages hiding the source of pain from sight. His breathing sped up, one hand rising to hover over the wound.

_The mission…_

   He was only vaguely aware of Genji reaching out to pull his hand away so that he couldn’t cause more damage, the ninja’s voice rising as he tried to get a response.

_Hanzo descending too fast, arrow notched…_

   There was a beeping sound, an alarm triggered, and he blinked at the noise - but it was still distant, the memories that had been kept at bay for the last few days sliding back into place.

_McCree moving, throwing off the archer’s calculations…_

   What had he been thinking? He swallowed as he recalled the feeling that the something was missing, that he wasn’t hearing the right voice and briefly he lifted his head, taking in the fact that he was in the infirmary and that Genji was the only one there.

_Pain. Encroaching darkness and terrified brown eyes, tears at their brim…_

“Hanzo!” He jolted upright, hissing as pain lanced through his chest, nowhere near as overwhelming as it had been back then, but enough to make his breathing catch. Still, he struggled to push his covers off as a second check on the room told him what he already knew. Hanzo wasn’t there. He didn’t bother asking why Hanzo wasn’t there, he already had his answer in the blurry memories of what had happened and the fact that Genji had flinched at his brother’s name. “Where is he?” Hanzo was always there when he woke up, even if it was only to yell at him for being foolish so his absence was a neon sign that something was wrong, and it didn’t take a genius to work out what it was, with McCree lying in a hospital patched up from an arrow wound.

   Genji was trying to stop his escape, reassuring him that Hanzo was safe – but, at least he didn’t try to claim that his brother was okay as McCree might well have punched him. _I’m guessing he’s far from okay right now_. Thankfully Genji seemed reluctant to do anything that might make his injuries worse, and it wasn’t long before he was half out of bed, but before he could attempt to stand fully, another voice joined the fray.

“Jesse McCree!” It had been a long time since he had pushed Angela to the point of using his full name, and he winced as he glanced up to find her storming towards them. He had forgotten just how terrifying the woman could be when riled, and he shot Genji a betrayed look when Genji stepped aside and left him defenceless against her ire and concern, her eyes darting to the bandages as she demanded. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m going to find Hanzo.”

“McCree, you can’t get up yet,” Angela insisted, reaching out to grasp his shoulder when he continued his attempt to rise. “Do you realise how close we came to losing you?” That gave him pause for a moment, it was usually an unspoken rule that they didn’t dwell on things like that, after all, they’d all had too many close calls to keep track of each one.

“I can guess, Doc,” he mumbled, slightly shaken as he realised that it must’ve been bad to get her to admit as much. But if anything, it made finding Hanzo before he got himself too caught up in guilt and what ifs more urgent, if it wasn’t already too late, and he sighed reaching up to gently remove her hand. “Angela…” He rarely used her first name even now, she had always been the Doc, and she stilled now, staring at him with narrowed eyes. “Please…Hanzo. I remember how he looked when he realised what had happened, I need to speak to him.”

“I could fetch him…” Genji suggested half-heartedly.

“He hasn’t been here since he knew I was going to pull through, has he?” McCree asked knowingly, and he could see the lie building before Genji sighed and shook his head. That must’ve been about the time he had started to rouse enough to hear the world around him, and he swallowed, remembering the dribs and drabs of conversation, and the voice that had been missing, before forcing himself to ask the question he wasn’t sure he wanted the answer to. “How long?” _How long has he been blaming himself? How long have I left him on his own?_ The logical part of him knew that it wasn’t his fault, any more than it had been Hanzo’s fault that he had broken pattern at the wrong moment, but he knew Hanzo…

“Six days…”

   He knew that his surprise must’ve shown on his face because Angela sighed. “You lost a lot of blood, and Ana’s biotic bullets could only do so much. You had flatlined by the time they got you back here, and it was almost too late. A few minutes more and not even my technology would’ve helped.” McCree swallowed thickly. It wasn’t the first time he had come close to death, hell he had probably been closer far too many times. But this was different, because it had been an accident and because now he had a reason to stay alive, one that went beyond work and his need to earn redemption that Hanzo was constantly telling him he had long since earned.

“Thanks for not letting me die, Doc,” he muttered, not for the first time thanking their lucky stars that she had answered the recall. “But, that’s all the more reason for me to go after him.”

“Jesse…” She trailed off studying him, and he met her gaze evenly. Nothing short of knocking him out was going to stop him, and whilst he knew that she was more than capable of doing just that especially with his current condition, he also knew that she preferred not to injure her patients. “Fine, on one condition.”

“Anything.”

“You are to come back here once you’ve spoken to him, and there will be no more escape attempts until I clear you to leave properly. Is that understood?” McCree wanted to refuse. He had never been a fan of the infirmary, and since he was no longer on death’s door he didn’t see the point in staying there. However, he could see in her eyes that this wasn’t negotiable, and his worry for Hanzo won out over any dislike about what she was asking, and he nodded sharply. “Your word.” Damn it, she really did know him too well. A nod could be misconstrued, but once he said the words there would be no getting out of it, but with no other choice, he admitted defeat.

“I promise.”

   He practically bolted out of bed the moment she moved, only to stumble and nearly fall when he realised that wasn’t such a good idea, vision whiting out for a moment and when the world came back into focus it was to find Genji supporting him. He coughed, praying that Angela wouldn’t change her mind, but whilst she looked like she would like nothing better she shook her head. “At least let Genji help you get there.” That was probably the best suggestion he had heard since waking up, and he nodded, offering Genji what he knew was a pathetic attempt at his usual grin. “Lead on.” He managed a half-hearted wave in Angela’s direction but was relieved when Genji obeyed before she could change her mind.

**

“Do you know where he is?” He asked as soon as they were outside, trying to take more of his weight but Genji was having none of it, and after a moment he subsided, guessing that the ninja wouldn’t hesitate to dump him back in Angela’s care if he thought it was for the best. “Genji?”

“He’s up on the tower,” Genji replied after a moment, already guiding them down the corridor and McCree tried not to curse at the news and not just because he didn’t fancy all the stairs with the deep ache that was settling into his chest as they walked. The tower had been where Hanzo retreated when in the beginning when things had been too much for him, both from living with so many people, having people worrying about him. Later it had been his sanctuary from the lingering nightmares and his inability to accept the forgiveness Genji was offering. And more recently it had been his shelter on the rare occasions when they bickered, and the more common moments when he doubted that he deserved McCree. “I’m not sure he has come down for more than a few minutes at a time since we knew you were going to survive.”

    McCree grimaced, it wouldn’t be the first time that Hanzo had neglected himself when McCree was injured, and he had lost count of the number of times he had reamed him out for it, but he knew that wouldn’t help today, especially when Genji added softly. “I’ve never seen him like this, even with what happened between us…”

“I know.” _Hanzo_ … As soon as he had remembered what had happened he had known that his partner was going to be a mess, but this was worse than he had expected, and part of him was terrified that he didn’t have the words to fix this. Not that he would allow the doubts to show in front of Genji. “I’ll fix this.”

“If he’ll let you.”

“He will.” McCree wouldn’t allow any other outcome, and Genji studied him for a moment, before leading him forward again, his grip tightening for a moment.

“Thank you…”

**

  The stairs in the Communication tower nearly killed him, and if it hadn’t been for Genji’s support, he would have had to give up barely a flight in. As it was he was breathing heavily, and the ache in his chest had grown to a splintery pain that spike with each ragged breath and his head was spinning as Genji brought them to a halt, urging him to lean against the wall and catch his breath. He hated the feeling that he was wasting time, but he knew that if Hanzo saw him like this then he would fall apart in an instant, so whilst his eyes remained fixated on the doors that led out to the balcony that ran the width of the tower, he let himself rest and focus on catching his breath.

   He didn’t let himself rest for long though, and when Genji moved to support him again, he shook his head, cutting off the protest that he could see forming with a gentle pat to the shoulder. “Let me take care of this.” For all that the tensions between the two brothers had largely vanished now, even if Hanzo still wasn’t completely convinced that he should be forgiven, he knew that it was his words that Hanzo needed right now. Genji hesitated for a moment before stepping back, not happy, but understanding. “It’ll be okay,” McCree muttered, hoping that he wasn’t lying before he took an unsteady step towards the door and then another, praying that he didn’t end up on his ass before he got there. It certainly wouldn’t support the picture of health he wanted to project.

   It was probably only sheer stubbornness that got him there, but he was upright and moving, and with a last glance back at Genji he stepped out onto the balcony and closed the door behind him.

   For a moment he didn’t see Hanzo, the archer wasn’t sat in his usual spot on the edge looking down over the base and panic rose - was Genji wrong? Turning he scanned the rest of the balcony, and it was the was the sight of the familiar golden ribbon flickering in the air just around the corner that let him breathe again. Taking a steadying breath, he inched forward, moving as quietly as possible, not wanting to startle the other man especially when he realised Hanzo was perched on the railings, his gaze fixated on the sheer drop down the side of the tower to the cliffs below. Metal groaned under his feet, and Hanzo tensed, and then he shifted, making himself look impossibly small he hunkered down on himself. His voice when it came was clearly meant to be a warning snarl, but it came out more as a weak plea that did nothing to reassure McCree.

“Go away.”

“I was hoping for a hello,” McCree replied, knowing that Hanzo hadn’t realised who was there and not taking offence, his heart leaping into his throat at the speed with which Hanzo twisted around to look at him. _Too close, he’s too close to the edge…_

“Jesse…” Hanzo sounded wrecked, but he looked worse, and McCree’s heart ached as he took in the deep shadows under his partner’s eyes, the red-rimmed eyes and messy, unwashed hair that had been crudely yanked into something close to his usual style. _This is bad_.  He took a couple of steps forward only to still when Hanzo flinched, shrinking back and it was when he looked down, unable to even look at McCree any longer that he realised just how badly he might have underestimated the situation.

“Sweetheart,” he called softly, stiffly lowering himself into a crouch and ignoring the twinge of pain that the movement caused. Angela would probably give him hell for that later, but right now it was hard to worry about anything but Hanzo. “Hanzo, darling…look at me. Please?” He hadn’t intended for his voice to crack on that last word, but it did, and he had a feeling that was the only reason Hanzo obeyed, dark eyes skittering towards him, focused but not quite meeting his gaze. “I missed you, I don’t like waking without you by my side.” That was true in everyday life too he realised, remembering the restless nights and lonely mornings when one of them was out on a mission. It didn’t matter where they were, as long as they were together it felt like home.

“…Sorry…”

“I wasn’t looking for an apology, sweetheart.” McCree fought the urge to roll his eyes, knowing that he should have expected that answer and risking shuffling slightly closer in the silence that met his words. “I want to know why you’re up here on your own, and not with me?” Hanzo looked startled, as though McCree should already have the answer to that and McCree sighed, realising that from Hanzo’s point of view he should. “Hanzo…”

“Don’t…” Hanzo’s hands were clenched, nails biting into his palms. “I-I shot you.” McCree was amazed that he’d said the words so quickly. Usually, it would take him hours to get Hanzo to admit whatever was really bothering him. It was a bitter victory though because Hanzo’s expression was crumpling now, whatever control he’d had slipping, and he was far too close to the edge, and McCree crept closer, even as Hanzo spoke in a strange, broken tone that he had never heard from him before. “I thought you were going to die. I thought you were dead back in that base, and not because of an enemy, but because of m-me.”

“Hanzo…” McCree whispered, stunned by the sheer amount of self-loathing in those words. “This wasn’t your fault. It was an accident, or if anything it was my fault. I moved, I could see you had already fired and I should have realised it was a scatter arrow and stayed where I was.” Hanzo was staring at him, and he wasn’t sure that his words were even registering, but he managed to close the last of the distance between them although he didn’t dare reach for him yet, highly aware of the drop beneath them. “This wasn’t your fault, Hanzo.”

“I nearly killed you,” Hanzo shook his head, denying the absolution being offered. “A little to the side and you would have been d-dead there and then…and then…and then…” He was trembling now, what little colour he’d had draining away and McCree leant forward, ready to lunge forward if he moved too far in the wrong direction. “I thought you were dead.” McCree froze at that confession, bile rising as he studied Hanzo and saw in his expression that for a time at least he had honestly thought that McCree was dead, and he swallowed. Could he had coped with that? No, he was honest enough with himself to admit that if their positions had been reversed, then he would be in a worst state than Hanzo was right now because the thought of losing Hanzo…

“Hanzo…” He knew that it was still risky to move, but there was no way he couldn’t after hearing that, and within seconds he had his arms around Hanzo, praying that the archer wouldn’t fight him with the drop looming beneath them. For a long, terrifying moment Hanzo was rigid in his arms. But then he was crumpling. Not sobbing, but collapsing in on himself, breathing ragged as he pressed against McCree, letting the gunslinger carefully pull him in and away from the edge. “I’ve got you,” he murmured, not sure that Hanzo was the only one trembling as he guided them back until they were leaning against the wall of the tower, Hanzo curled against him, face hidden against his chest. “I’ve got you.”

   His chest was aching, exhaustion already tugging at him again, but Hanzo was clutching at him now, fingers twisted into the material of his shirt. It didn’t escape his notice that even in his distress, Hanzo was carefully keeping his weight away from the bandaged area. Still, he carefully shifted them, trying to find a more comfortable position, shushing the quiet protest that he knew Hanzo hadn’t meant to make, pulling him close again, letting his fingers curl up to the play with the strands of hair that were falling lose from the tie.

“Are…” Hanzo began, swallowing thickly, fingers tensing against McCree as he struggled to get the words out. “Are you, all right? Your…” He trailed off again, one hand coming up to ghost over the bandages and McCree could see how badly he was trembling, sighing as he abandoned playing with Hanzo’s hair in favour of linking their fingers together, trying to still the shaking with a gentle squeeze.

“I have to report back to Angela in a bit,” he admitted, knowing better than to lie about something like this, unsurprised when Hanzo immediately tried to pull away, no doubt intending to drag him back there and then. “In a bit.” He repeated firmly, pleased when Hanzo looked up at him with a hint of fire in the dark eyes. It was muted, nothing like the ire he knew his partner was capable of unleashing, but it was enough to tell him that Hanzo wasn’t completely broken. “I’m on the mend.”

“I…”

“If you apologise again I’m going to get angry,” McCree knew that the gentle tone belied his words, even if he meant them, holding Hanzo’s gaze. He didn’t want apologies. Hanzo looked lost, wanting - needing to apologise despite McCree’s words, not knowing what else to do and McCree could feel his fingers tightening on his shirt. “Easy,” he squeezed the hand he was holding. “It’s okay, I’m okay, and give it a few more days I’ll be back to beating you in training.” He caught the minute twitch of Hanzo’s lips at those words, both treasuring the friendly competition in training that had provided a foundation for the point they were at now and he smiled. “See, things are going to be fine.”

“But…” McCree wanted to curse at the quiet protest, both hating and loving the stubborn side of Hanzo that made it so hard to get through to him when he had latched onto something. Especially when it was something like this, with guilt, however, misplaced gnawing away at him. “I could’ve killed you.”

   McCree took a deep breath as he tried to work out what to say, feeling the twinge that confirmed Hanzo’s words better than anything else could. He could’ve died. He felt sick at that thought, unable to bear the thought of what Hanzo would’ve done if that had happened, his gaze creeping up and across to the railing and the drop below. _Hanzo_. “Maybe,” his voice cracked, and he found himself gathering Hanzo closer despite the change in position hurting. He couldn’t deny that it had been close. “But, Sweetheart? I know that you didn’t mean to. Hell, if you had wanted me dead, you wouldn’t have failed. I’m still here because you were trying to protect me, and because you didn’t want me to die…” It was hazy, even hazier than his memories from his brief awakenings, but he remembered Hanzo by his side the moment he had hit the ground, could still feel the echo of the pain as Hanzo had fought to stop the bleeding and to stop him from yanking the arrow out and probably killing himself. “You were there. You fought to stop me slipping away, telling me that it would be okay. Begging me to hang on.”

“You r-remember?”

“Perfectly.” Okay, that was a small lie, but Hanzo was staring at him with wide eyes. A hint of something lighter finally seeping into his eyes. “This,” carefully he bought their linked hands up to the bandaged wound. “Was an accident, nothing more.” He wondered how many times he was going to have to say that before Hanzo would let himself believe it. “Everything else you did more than proves that, and I want to thank you.” Hanzo jolted at that, mouth open in surprise although words seemed to be beyond him as he stared up at McCree. If it had been any other situation, McCree would have been marking it down as a victory, as it wasn’t often that he managed to leave Hanzo speechless, this time he smiled sadly, hating the surprise even as he leant in to kiss his partner. It was chaste. It wasn’t the time for more, a brief meeting of the lips before he let his forehead rest against Hanzo’s. “Thank you for keeping me alive.” He could see that Hanzo wanted to argue, could feel it in the fingers tensing against him but when the words came it wasn’t the protest he had been expecting.

“I can’t lose you…”

   It wasn’t quite an acceptance, and there was still a note of guilt in the quiet voice that bothered McCree, but it was something. A tiny step away from blaming himself, and for now McCree was willing to take it, kissing him on the forehead. “I know, I feel the same…” _I love you too_.  He moved, wanting to see Hanzo’s face properly, to kiss him again…but instead he found himself gasping, pain spiking and for a moment the world went out of focus.

   When it came back, Hanzo was tense in his lap, one hand lightly gripping his shoulder to steady him, dark eyes fixated on his face. “We need to get you back to Angela…”

“Not yet,” McCree shook his head, cursing himself for worrying Hanzo when he had finally made a break through with him. Hanzo apparently wasn’t convinced, scowling at him and opening his mouth to argue and McCree cut him off, squeezing the fingers that were still caught up in his. “Please, I just want to stay up here a bit longer.” _I want to stay with you for a bit longer_ , was what he meant, wanting to give Hanzo the time he needed to calm down before they had Angela and probably Genji fussing around them both.

   He could see the words taking the wind out of Hanzo’s arguments, his partner’s expression softening although the worry was still there and then Hanzo’s shoulders were slumping, falling in defeat as he moved closer. Curling cautiously against McCree once more, this time deliberately mindful of his injury, moving their linked hands, so they were cradled between them. “Fine, just a bit longer…”


End file.
